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Dodong: Inday, yor so prety bebi…. I wel cros da end of di ert to proob my lab por yo is tru as da err dat yo brith… I lab yo may lab, may darleng, may hani, may hart bits por onli yo… Ang puso ko ay tumitibok dahil sa pagmamahal mo…

Inday: Oh stop it dear Dodong. (Kilig) Enough of those sweet lines. You see, my heart now pumps blood into my pretty face (Blushing)… Doesn’t it ever occur to you that your heart beats because of the stimulation of the myocardium in response from the action potentials generated by the SA node then travels down though the Internodal Pathway, AV node, Common Bundle of His, Left and Right His Bundles, Purkinje system, and ultimately the Ventricular muscle, causes your heart to contract?

Dodong: (nagtampo, walk out)

- ito ang simula ng away nilang dalawa at ang dahilan ng pagtaksil ni Dodong, kaya naghanap si Dodong ng kalebel nya sa pag-iingles na pwedeng ipalit kay Inday: Si Ederlyn…

Dahil hindi ma-reach ni Dodong ang pag-iingles ni Inday, naging malapit sila ni Ederlyn…

Nakasundo ni Dodong ang pamilya at kapatid ni Ederlyn na sina Edermae at ang mongoloid na si Ederloo. Pati ang mga plastic na kaibigan ni Ederlyn na sina Chona Mae at Chona Jane ay boto sa kanya…

Ikakasal na sila Dodong at Ederlyn, at dahil ang reception ay gagawin sa bukid ng kanilang pamilya, hindi na mapapanis at masasayang ang pagluluto ng Nanay ni Ederlyn, si Edernay….

Malugod namin kayong inaanyahayan ang lahat na makisaksi sa panunumpa ng aming labis na pag-ibig at katapatan sa isa’t isa, bilang mag-asawa sa Sabado, Alas-sais ng gabi sa Sanctuario de San Antonio, McKinley Road, Forbes Park, Makati.

- Excerpt from Ederlyn and Dodong’s wedding invitation

Playground

Inday: “What kind of dim-witted, ill-willing person holds proprietorship of this structural malady? Had he not the knowledge of the building codes set forth in international conventions by known intellectual committees. How dare he violate these rules when the very epitome if these things I say are embodied in the Building code of the Philippines as stated in the Republic Act 6541 authored on August 26 in the year of the Lord 1972. Had this structure existed even before that? I think not. Therefore you have peddled against the R.A. 6541, which gives me the stands to lead this to court with a count of attempted homicide and the evasion of responsibilities according to the said Republic act..”

Security Guard: [nosebleed]

- pinapagalitan ni Inday ang sekyu ng playground nang nabali ni junior ang Monkey Bars at muntik pang mabagok ang ulo

Inday,

“Where fort art thou?”- in the words of Juliet in the infamous play,”Romeo and Juliet” by of course, the greatest playwright of all time, William Shakespeare. Though I am not a Juliet, I chose these words to put into words of what my heart is screaming to say to you my dear Inday.

Inday, you know from the very moment my eyes laid on you beautiful smile, my world stopped. My heart can’t stop from hyperventilating as I stare at you while you are sweeping the Montemayor’s front yard. I can’t sleep as i think the way your hair flows as you chase Junior when you’d be giving him a bath.

Oh my Inday, I pray that we would last until the end of all eternity. As your superior intellect overpowers my inferiority, it doesn’t matter.

As long as our love is strong and our determination to face all the hindrance of our relationship, I, Dodong, will never, ever give up.

Lovingly yours,

-Dodong

Naospital si sir

Amo: Inday, diba nurse ka naman, pakicheck naman blood sugar ko!

(Inday checks the Blood Sugar of the master)

Inday: The reading in this phased out CBG monitor shows that your blood glucose is elevated at 180mg/dL

Amo: (Sweats) Ha potanyeta!!!! Bat nagkaganon!!!

Inday: Sir, don’t be such an overacting imbecile… Don’t you know you have Diabetes Mellitus?

Amo: (wipes blood from nose) Huh? Ano yun?

Inday:

Your illness is a complex metabolic derangement is characterized by a grossly abnormal usage of fuel. the level of insulin is inappropriately low while that of glucagon is too high relative to the needs of the body. As in starvation, glucose utilization in your illness is poor, but glucose is actually present in excessive amounts. Sir, its starvation amidst plenty.

Therefore, sir, there is an inhibition in the pathways of both glycolysis and glycogenesis. The liver attempts to generate glucose from 2 equivalents of PYRUVATE, which is catalyzed by pyruvate carboxylase, and uses up 2ATPs and converts it to ADP. The product OXALOACETATE is converted to PHOSPHOENOL PYRUVATE, in a GTP mediated reaction between the substrate and the enzyme PEP Carboxylase. PEP is then converted to 3-PHOSPHOGLYCERATE, 1,3 BIPHOSPHOGLYCERATE, FRUCTOSE 1,6-BIPHOSPHATE, FRUCTOSE-6-PHOSPHATE, each in succession though the enzyme phosphoglycerate kinase, then spontaneous oxidation by NADH, then enzyme Fructose 1,6-biphosphatase, respectively. The precursor to Glucose is now produced. The product GLUCOSE 6-PHOSPHATE underwent a dephosphorylation reaction by the enzyme Glucose 6-phosphatase to produce GLUCOSE, otherwise known as your Blood Sugar.

Sir, that explains the heightened level of glucose in your bloodstream. This pathway further increases that glucose level in a well-fed state.

Amo: (ear bleeds and faints, and rushed to Inday’s homecourt, UST Hospital, after First Aid, Insulin, and Shock Management by Inday)

Thank you for the Support!

Dear friends,

Thank you for the overwhelming support that you have shown me. I didn’t quite expect that my life would be so phenomenal that it could thrust my blog in the top 10 English Blogs here at WordPress in a few weeks time.

Thank you once again and more power to the Filipino people!

Love,

Inday

…I’m so mean … hehehe

Suicide Letter

Ang malungkot dito’y alam kong walang iiyak. O maaawa. O makikialam…hanggang sa huli. Sana kahit dito man lamang, maging patas ang mga natitira.

Siguro nga’y malupit ang mundo. Anumang pilit na itama ang mali, tiyak na makakahanap ang tadhana ng paraan para magpasiklab ng panibagong gulo. Ang ilang taong malasakit, pagtatago, paglaban… sa isang gabi lang matatapos. Sino’ng mag aakalang mas mapait ang drama ng totoong buhay.

Nauubos na ang natitirang pag-asa. Ikinatatakot kong dumating ang araw na wala nang ibang paraan.

Ito na ang araw na ‘to. Dumating na ang araw na nabuwag na ang ipinaglalaban. Manalo man ako, ano ang napanalunan ko?

Pagod na ako sa kalapastanganan ninyo sa aking pagkatao. Manood, at walang magawa. Manatiling bingi sa aking mga sigaw ng saklolo.

Lahat, para sa isang lihim.

Minahal kita.

Sa akin matatapos ang alamat ng mga tagapagtanggol.

  – suicide letter ni manong guard kase #2 siya ni Inday pero tuluyan ng pinagpalit para sa hardinerong si Dodong.

It’s complicated.

 – sagot ni Inday

Para sa mga di pa nakabasa ng Part 2, click HERE.

———————-

Kris: Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na.

[Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso... Palakpakan ang mga tao]

Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?

Inday: Case number 24 please.

Kris: Chloe… buksan na…

[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]

Kris: Wait lang guys, Inday may nabuksan ng case baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng “Lower”?

Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the one we just opened? Sheesh.

[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]

Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [naiirita na]

[At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case ni Inday]

[nag-ring ang phone]

Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I’m not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It’s quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer. I mean come on, isn’t that a waste of airtime?

Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kwarto ni banker]

- Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience ang boses ni banker sa Deal or no Deal.

<Part 4>

Paalam ni Inday para mag-CR

“May I be rightfully permitted to humbly abscond from the parameters of this teritorial space fOr the necessary reasOn that I am in dismal requirement to suitably discharge these quantities of impurities within my functioning physical
system?”

- ganyan magpaalam si Inday tuwing pupunta sa CR nung sya’y nag-aaral pa 

Hey Inday, your Thomasian colleague here, Iñigo. The College is currently distributing questionnaires and forms requesting information regarding the Alumnus whereabouts and accomplishments. I already informed the administrators of your hectic schedule so you might just want to update your online Biodata and I’ll do the rest (so you can focus on tutoring your ‘alaga’).

Please include your BA in English and Literature (Oxford) in your updated Biodata… I believe it’s such an accomplishment.

Regards to Ikling and Itoy. I haven’t heard from them for awhile.

- Iñigo

P.S.: Don’t forget all your titles (Atty., BSN, RN, MS, MAN, DNE, etc.)

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